Keyword: Philosophy

Philosophy: Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Problems

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education Intelligence Sex

Philosophy: Common sense in a dress suit.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

I’m in love with a philosophy major, and she doesn’t even know I exist – and worse… she can prove it.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Intelligence Love Situations

They don't get the philosophy jokes in Alabama; they think Descartes is the thing you put before de-horse.

comedian
Intelligence Places

I have a simple philosophy; fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Intelligence

I took a test in Existentialism; I left all the answers blank and got 100.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs

Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.

Definitions Happiness Intelligence

Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.

(1917 –1986) American journalist
Ideas Intelligence

We do not go in for philosophy in this country… we have our own system… it’s called wondering.

(1968 – ) English comedian & television personality
England Places

I’ve developed a new philosophy… I’m only going to dread one day at a time.

cartoon character, Peanuts, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist
Intelligence Life Time

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Murphy’s Laws

A wise man once said, “Never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment.”

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs Politics

I think I am, therefore I am… I think.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Intelligence Life