Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
Prison
He's the first guy to drive a $300,000 car with license plates he made himself.
Jay Leno
(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Situations
After Mike Tyson bought four Bentleys upon his release from prison
Prison
Right now, I couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons.
Anonymous
Sex
Situations
Prison
Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.
Daniel Tosh
(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Education
England
Places
School
Prison
The scariest guy in prison is the white guy… because he's guilty.
John Roy
American comedian
Conflict
Crime
Law
People
Prison
Race
The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prison they let you play softball on the weekends.
Bobby Kelton
American stand-up comedian
Relationships
Situations
Sports
Prison
Softball
You might be a redneck if… you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Fathers
People
Rednecks
License plates
Prison
Wait till these Enron guys find out that in prison, the term "insider trading" has a whole new meaning.
Jay Leno
(1950 – ) comedian & television host
People
Prison