Keyword: Psychiatrists

You go to a psychiatrist when you’re slightly cracked and keep going until you’re completely broke.

Last week I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide,” and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Psychiatrists: People with the same problems as anyone else, but with an accent.

After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes… he said, "No hablo Ingles."

comedian

Half a psychiatrist's patients see him because they are married – the other half because they're not.

(1905 –1998) American author

Easiest job in the world of course: Australian psychiatrist, “Gday Gday how you doing… no worries… next.”

(1964 – ) English comedian

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to the Folies Bergeres and looks at the audience.

(1913 – 1995) British Anglican Bishop

A neurotic is a person who builds a castle in the air; a psychotic is the person who lives in it; a psychiatrist is the one who collects the rent.

(1915 – 2004) American playwright & author

The psychiatrist’s office is where you say what you think and be told what you mean.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine