Keyword: Republicans

All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People

A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Politicians

Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Children Communication Misspokements Mothers

It takes nerve to be a Democrat, but it takes money to be a Republican.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor; it’s the other way around… they never vote for us.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Misspokements People

The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then gets elected and proves it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Politicians

Latins for Republicans… it’s like roaches for Raid.

(1964 – ) Colombian-American actor, producer, playwright & screenwriter
Government People Politics

Oscar [of the Academy Awards] is 80 this year, which makes him now automatically the frontrunner for the Republican nomination.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Elections/Voting Government

What is the difference between a Democrat and a Republican?… a Democrat blows; a Republican sucks.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government Politicians

When I was a Republican, Saddam Hussein was our ally, George Bush owned a mediocre baseball team, Enron was a respected energy company and Michael Jackson was still black.

(1950 – ) Greek American author, columnist & website co-founder
Past People Self Time

I will make a bargain with the Republicans; if they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Honesty Lies Politicians Politics Truth

A Republican stands up in Congress and says I’ve got a really bad idea!' and the Democrat stands up after him and says 'and I can make it shittier!”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government Politicians

It says something about the Republican field that the new #1 candidate used to run the nation's #8 pizza chain.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Government

Republicans elect stupid leaders with brilliant staffs and Democrats produce brilliant presidents with stupid staffs.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Government Politicians President

Brains, you know, are suspect in the Republican Party.

(1889 – 1974) American intellectual, writer, reporter & political commentator
Government Intelligence Politicians

Many of these guys on death row have done heinous things, but when we as a people sink to their level and execute them, then we’re no better than Republicans.

American comedian & writer
Death Government Politicians

The difference between Democrats and Republicans?… Democrats remind us that life is unfair, and Republicans make sure it is.

American comedian & writer
Government Politicians

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Government

The two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change.

(1973 – ) animator, writer, actor & producer
Animals Government Politics

Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum; the plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government Politics

A libertarian is just a Republican who takes drugs.

(1951 – ) American anarchist writer
Drugs Government People Politics