Keyword: Restaurants

I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, “Pass the salt;” I said, “Screw you! Sit closer to the salt.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

In a restaurant with seats which are close to each other, one will always find the decibel level of the nearest conversation to be inversely proportional to the quality of the thought going into it.

Communication Conversation Murphy’s Laws Speech

The thing restaurants always boast about now is home made cooking… I don’t want home made cooking, that’s why I’m here, because I don’t like the s**t at home!

(1964 – ) English comedian, writer, actor & musician
Food/Drink

I’ve never been in a rotating restaurant, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, I put her on it, and I gave her a burrito.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink Things

I never eat in a restaurant that’s over a hundred feet off the ground and won’t stand still.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Food/Drink

One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the customer usually gets faster service when the restaurant is crowded than when it is half empty; it seems that the less the staff has to do, the slower they do it.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Eating Food/Drink