Quotes and One Liners

New Zealand rugby player & commentator

There’s nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator

The relationship between the Welsh and English is based on trust and understanding. They don’t trust us and we don’t understand them.

Dudley Wood

Rugby union secretary

Sports After John Jeffrey had dropped and badly damaged' the Calcutta Cup Rugby

It will now have to be called the Calcutta Shield.

Bob Munro

It is the best sport in the world; it's got everything – speed and tough, ugly men.

Terry O'Connor

Irish rugby player

You don’t like to see hookers going down on players like that.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator

We’ve lost our last eight matches. The only team that we have beaten is Western Samoa. It’s a good job we didn’t play the whole of Samoa!

Gareth Davies

Welsh rugby player

In my time, I've had my knee out, broken my collarbone, had my nose smashed, a rib broken, lost a few teeth, and ricked my back; but as soon as I get a bit of bad luck I'm going to quit the game.

J.W. Robinson

Sports Injuries Rugby

The tactical difference between Association Football and Rugby with its varieties seems to be that in the former, the ball is the missile, in the latter, men are the missiles

Alfred E. Crawley

English schoolmaster, sexologist, anthropologist & sports journalist

The pub is as much a part of rugby as is the playing field.

John Dickenson

Food/Drink Sports Pubs Rugby

The main difference between playing League and Union is that now I get my hangovers on Monday instead of Sunday.

Tom David

Alcohol Food/Drink Sports Hangovers Rugby

I wouldn’t play the French at marbles, never mind Rugby League. All we will ever learn off them is how to fight and spit and bite each other.

Alex Murphy

Rugby coach

Rugby League is war without the frills.

Unknown

Conflict Sports Rugby

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

Sue Lawley

(1946 – ) English broadcaster

Football Sports Rugby

Everybody knows that I have been pumping Martin Leslie for a couple of seasons now.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator

Rugby is a game for the mentally deficient… that is why it was invented by the British. Who else but an Englishman could invent an oval ball?

Peter Cook

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian

Sports British Rugby

Darryl Gibson has been quite magnificent coming inside Andrew Mehrtens, and I’m looking forward to seeing more of the same today.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator

I can tell you it’s a magnificent sensation when the gap opens up like that and you just burst right through.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator

I think you enjoy the game more if you don't know the rules. Anyway, you're on the same wavelength as the referees.

Jonathan Davies

Welsh rugby player

Sports Referees Rugby

It’s not Terry Holmes that Bradford needs – it’s Sherlock.

Alex Murphy

Rugby coach

Rugby is a game for men with no fear of brain injury.

Linda Smith

(1958 – 2006) English radio performer, stand-up comic & writer