Keyword: Singing

I'm convinced that his voice comes out of his eyelids.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

It's ill-becoming for an old broad to sing about how bad she wants it… but occasionally we do.

(1917 – 2010) American singer & actress

Even the deaf would be traumatized by prolonged exposure to the most hideous croak in Western culture; Richards' voice is simply horrible.

(1950 – ) journalist & columnist

She ought to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian

I'm glad he died before me, because I didn't want him to sing at my funeral.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright

Drew Barrymore sings so badly, deaf people refuse to watch her lips move.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.

(1925 – 2005) television host

Choir: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Congregation to lip-sync.

When someone sings his own praises, he always gets the tune too high.

(1949 – ) English nurse

I hope you go before me because I don’t want you singing at my funeral.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

The first time I saw you on stage I realized what a wonderful voice you've got; I think you're so brave not to have had it trained.

(1865-1940) English actress

Listen Edith, I know you’re singing, you know you’re singing, but the neighbors may think I’m torturing you.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

He sang like a hinge.

(1908 – 1984) American actress & singer

He couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.

Australia's gift to insomniacs; it's nothing but the blonde singing the bland.

(1947 – 1979) American singer

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

You might be a redneck if… you have the electronic singing fish in more than three rooms in your house.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Anything too stupid to be said is sung.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

I love to sing; I love to drink scotch… most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer