Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Keyword:
Size
The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
Perkin's Postulate
Fights
Murphy’s Laws
Size
Strength
I asked the Scottish Football Association if San Marino was a republic or a principality; they said it was a technicality.
Roddy Forsythe
Scottish football commentator
Insults
Places
San Marino
Size
He's as big as a gorilla and as strong as a gorilla; if he was as smart as a gorilla he'd be fine.
Sam Bailey
college football coach
Animals
Appearance
Body
Insults
Intelligence
Gorillas
Size
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
Betty Reese
Characteristics
Situations
Mosquitoes
Size
Men can read maps better than women… cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
Roseanne Barr
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men
People
Women
Maps
Size
The smaller the ball used in a sport, the better the book.
Plimpton's Small Ball Theory
Books
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Reading/Writing
Sports
Ball
Size
I angered the clerk in a clothing shop today; she asked me what size I was and I said actual, because I am not to scale.
Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance
Clothing
People
Self
Size
That room was so small you couldn’t cuss a cat without gettting fur in your mouth!
Anonymous
Expressions
Rooms
Size
Crowded lifts (elevators) smell different to people with restricted growth.
Renau's Ramblings
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Elevators
Size
Smell
Growing smaller
Oxymoron
Oxymorons
Size
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight – it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Dwight D. 'Ike' Eisenhower
(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Characteristics
Determination
Size
It’s the wrong size.
Wright’s Observation of Spacial Relativity
Murphy’s Laws
Jonathan Wright
Size
The bigger the box, the bigger the things that won't fit in it.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Size
Knee high to a grasshopper
Country expression
Miscellaneous
I’ve known you since you were knee high to a grasshopper.
Other expressions
Size
Small
Never try to guess your wife's size. Just buy her anything marked ‘petite’ and hold on to the receipt.
Murphy's Fifth Law for Husbands
Appearance
Body
Clothing
Murphy’s Laws
Shopping
Gifts
Size
If a thing cannot be fitted into something smaller than itself, some dope will do it.
Yapp's Basic Fact
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
Size
So what if they're taller? We'll play big.
George Ireland
college basketball coach
Appearance
Basketball
Body
Sports
Size
Doesn't take too many of those to make a dozen.
Country expression
Expressions
Said of something very large
Size
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
Murphy's Ninth Military Law
Clothing
Government
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Size
If it says “one size fits all,” it doesn’t fit anyone.
Glaser's Law
Clothing
Murphy’s Laws
(also Julian’s Law)
Size
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs
Characteristics
Clothing
Finite World
Meaning
Size