Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
Size
Growing smaller
Oxymoron
Oxymorons
Size
Never try to guess your wife's size. Just buy her anything marked ‘petite’ and hold on to the receipt.
Murphy's Fifth Law for Husbands
Appearance
Body
Clothing
Murphy’s Laws
Shopping
Gifts
Size
That room was so small you couldn’t cuss a cat without gettting fur in your mouth!
Anonymous
Expressions
Rooms
Size
The bigger the box, the bigger the things that won't fit in it.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Size
Knee high to a grasshopper
Country expression
Miscellaneous
I’ve known you since you were knee high to a grasshopper.
Other expressions
Size
Small
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
Betty Reese
Characteristics
Situations
Mosquitoes
Size
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs
Characteristics
Clothing
Finite World
Meaning
Size
Crowded lifts (elevators) smell different to people with restricted growth.
Renau's Ramblings
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Elevators
Size
Smell
I asked the Scottish Football Association if San Marino was a republic or a principality; they said it was a technicality.
Roddy Forsythe
Scottish football commentator
Insults
Places
San Marino
Size
The smaller the ball used in a sport, the better the book.
Plimpton's Small Ball Theory
Books
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Reading/Writing
Sports
Ball
Size
So what if they're taller? We'll play big.
George Ireland
college basketball coach
Appearance
Basketball
Body
Sports
Size
I angered the clerk in a clothing shop today; she asked me what size I was and I said actual, because I am not to scale.
Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance
Clothing
People
Self
Size
If a thing cannot be fitted into something smaller than itself, some dope will do it.
Yapp's Basic Fact
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
Size
Doesn't take too many of those to make a dozen.
Country expression
Expressions
Said of something very large
Size
He's as big as a gorilla and as strong as a gorilla; if he was as smart as a gorilla he'd be fine.
Sam Bailey
college football coach
Animals
Appearance
Body
Insults
Intelligence
Gorillas
Size
Men can read maps better than women… cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
Roseanne Barr
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men
People
Women
Maps
Size
It’s the wrong size.
Wright’s Observation of Spacial Relativity
Murphy’s Laws
Jonathan Wright
Size
The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
Perkin's Postulate
Fights
Murphy’s Laws
Size
Strength
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight – it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Dwight D. 'Ike' Eisenhower
(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Characteristics
Determination
Size
If it says “one size fits all,” it doesn’t fit anyone.
Glaser's Law
Clothing
Murphy’s Laws
(also Julian’s Law)
Size
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
Murphy's Ninth Military Law
Clothing
Government
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Size