Keyword: Speed

The speed of time is one second per second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Time

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Clothing Science/Weather

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Science/Weather

I normally run the 40-yard dash in 4.9, but when a 280-pound guy is chasing me, I run it in 4.6.

American football player
Football Sports

Going fast while you are lost won't help a bit.

Science/Weather Situations

Maybe I’m lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Science/Weather Situations

The speed of exit of a civil servant is directly proportional to the quality of his service.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Work

Maybe I have lost a step, but I had a few to lose.

professional football player
Football Sports

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Communication Science/Weather

You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.


Science/Weather

Remember folks, stop lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
Autos Science/Weather Things

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

The speed of an oncoming vehicle is directly proportional to the length of the passing zone.

Activities Driving Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

At 180 mph, when your front wheel wants to play pogo stick, you don't do nothing. You don't sneeze, you don't hiccup, you don't even breathe. All you do is point it and hang on.

American motorcycle racer
Auto racing Sports

One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the customer usually gets faster service when the restaurant is crowded than when it is half empty; it seems that the less the staff has to do, the slower they do it.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Faster than a scalded dog

Miscellaneous

Slow as Christmas

Miscellaneous

Problem with [John] Wockenfuss getting on base is that it takes three doubles to score him.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

That was faster than green grass through a goose.

Miscellaneous

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Definitions Driving

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things