Keyword: Speed

Problem with [John] Wockenfuss getting on base is that it takes three doubles to score him.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Remember folks, stop lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
Autos Science/Weather Things

That was faster than green grass through a goose.

Miscellaneous

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals

If you change lines, the one you just left will start to move faster than the one you are now in.

Murphy’s Laws

Going fast while you are lost won't help a bit.

Science/Weather Situations

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks grey?

(1973 – ) American comedian
Animals Science/Weather

The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Communication Science/Weather

I play the harmonica, but only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Music Things

Maybe I’m lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Science/Weather Situations

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the customer usually gets faster service when the restaurant is crowded than when it is half empty; it seems that the less the staff has to do, the slower they do it.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Slow as Christmas

Miscellaneous

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations Things

I normally run the 40-yard dash in 4.9, but when a 280-pound guy is chasing me, I run it in 4.6.

American football player
Football Sports

The speed of time is one second per second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Time

The speed of exit of a civil servant is directly proportional to the quality of his service.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Work

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather

Maybe I have lost a step, but I had a few to lose.

professional football player
Football Sports