Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Keyword:
Subject of dispute
Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished.
Ludwig van Beethoven
(1770 – 1827) German composer & pianist
Last words
Phrase traditionally used to end a performance of a comedy
Subject of dispute
You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper.
Robert Alton Harris
(1953 – 1992) American career criminal & convicted murderer
Last words
Subject of dispute
Was executed in the gas chamber at San Quentin State Prison
I just wish I had time for one more bowl of chili.
‘Kit’ Carson
(1809 – 1868) American frontiersman & scout
Last words
Also reported as "Adios compadres"
Subject of dispute
Waiting, are they? Waiting, are they? Well, let 'em wait!
Ethan Allen
(1738 – 1789) American farmer, businessman, writer, politician & patriot
Last words
Stated after Allen was shot and a doctor told him "General I fear that the angels are waiting for you."
Subject of dispute
Damn it! How will I ever get out of this labyrinth?
Simón Bolívar
(1783 – 1830) Venezuelan military & political leader
Last words
Also stated as “Fetch The Luggage”
Subject of dispute
Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Voltaire
(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Last words
Subject of dispute
When asked by a priest to renounce Satan
I am off in search of the great perhaps.
François Rabelais
(c.1494 – 1553) French Renaissance writer, doctor, monk & Greek scholar
Last words
Subject of dispute
Don't let it end like this; tell them I said something.
Francisco 'Pancho' Villa
(1878 – 1923) Mexican revolutionary general
Last words
Also attributed to Emiliano Zapata
Subject of dispute