Keyword: Teachers

There’s always one teacher you had a crush on; for me, it’s my wife’s aerobics instructor.

comedian

They say you never forget your first school teacher, I had mine like 4 years in a row… I was dating her by the time I got out of that joint.

American actor & stand-up comedian

When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over?… movie day

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian

I had a terrible education… I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

(1803 – 1869) French Romantic composer

After I failed my second test, I grabbed my teacher by the front of the shirt and said “Are you ‘trying’ to keep this shit a secret?”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, it was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

The schoolteacher is certainly underpaid as a child-minder, but ludicrously overpaid as an educator.

(1929 – 1994) English playwright, screenwriter & actor

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

For those eight years Clinton was the president, it was like we had that really cool substitute teacher.

(1977 – ) American comedian

I like to date school teachers; if you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Those who cannot teach – administrate.

School teachers are not fully appreciated by parents until it rains all day Saturday.