Keyword: Teeth

Any dentist who says “This won’t hurt a bit” is lying through your teeth.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Health

I finally have a dental plan… I chew on the other side.

comedy writer & stand-up comedian
Health

You might be a redneck if… the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage People Rednecks Wives

I wanted to get my teeth whitened, but I said, "F**k that… I'll just get a tan instead.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook… after dinner, I don't brush my teeth, I count them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

She could eat an apple through a picket fence.

Appearance Expressions

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow; he told me to wear a brown tie.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health

You hate to lose your teeth and the game, too.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Useless as a pulled tooth.

(1876 – 1958) writer
Insults

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Age Entertainment Health Music

He/She’s got teeth like a rake.

Miscellaneous

I hate flossing, I wish I just had one long curvy tooth; they didn’t have to make separations for me.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities

Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you.

(1926 – 2009) comedian, actor, radio – TV personality & host
Appearance Body Characteristics

I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others; he gave me one with four cavities.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Health