Keyword: Telephone

Men like phones with lots of buttons; it makes them feel important.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Men People Things

You might be a redneck if… you have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller,' he said 'Not you again.’

(1926 – 2012) Irish comedian & actor
Communication

No name, no matter how simple, can be correctly understood over the phone.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Things

When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “Pick up, I know you’re there.”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Children Communication Family

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Animals Dogs

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be and when I called someone they went “Aaaaahhhh…”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Things

The effectiveness of a telephone conversation is in inverse proportion to the time spent on it.

Communication Conversation Murphy’s Laws Time

I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Characteristics Communication Sex

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3.

(1943 – 2004) author & psychologist
Science/Weather

Telephone: A contrivance for letting us talk to people whom we don’t want to meet.

Definitions Things

I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex; last night, she called me from a motel.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Marriage Sex Speech Wives

Gossip is nature’s telephone.

(Sholem Naumovich Rabinovich) (1859 – 1916) Jewish author & humorist
Communication

All phone calls are obscene.

American author
Communication Language

There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 a.m… it could be the right number.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Communication Time

Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?

Communication Men Speech Women

The voice of love seemed to call me… but it was a wrong number.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Emotions Love

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Things

I don’t own a cell phone or a pager; I just hang around everyone I know, all the time.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication

If the phone doesn’t ring, it’s me.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Emotions Things