Keyword: Telephone (Page 2)

I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Characteristics Communication Sex

Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with, ‘I can’t talk now, I’m going into a tunnel.'

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Sex Things

When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

I like to leave messages before the beep.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Things

No name, no matter how simple, can be correctly understood over the phone.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Things

You might be a redneck if… you have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3.

(1943 – 2004) author & psychologist
Science/Weather

1. The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys.
2. You will reach it just in time to hear the click of the caller hanging up.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Things

All phone calls are obscene.

American author
Communication Language

The voice of love seemed to call me… but it was a wrong number.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Emotions Love

I tried phone sex and got an ear infection.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Health Sex

I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number; it started with 555.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Dating

Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?

Communication Men Speech Women

Telephone: A contrivance for letting us talk to people whom we don’t want to meet.

Definitions Things

No, you didn’t wake me up; I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Sleep Yogi-isms

The effectiveness of a telephone conversation is in inverse proportion to the time spent on it.

Communication Conversation Murphy’s Laws Time

The bathtub was invented in 1850 and the telephone in 1875 … In other words, if you had been living in 1850, you could have sat in the bathtub for 25 years without having to answer the phone.

(1902 – 1982) American professional baseball executive & club owner
Miscellaneous Things

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Alcohol Communication People

Men like phones with lots of buttons; it makes them feel important.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Men People Things

Have you ever called the wrong number? They’re always in aren’t they?

(1964 – ) English comedian, writer, actor & musician
Situations Things