Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Keyword:
Tools
Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.
Kaplan's Law of the Instrument
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Boys
Hammers
Tools
Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop
Murphy’s Laws
Places
Things
Corner
Tools
On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.
Corollary to Anthony's Law of the Workshop
Murphy’s Laws
Corner
Toes
Tools
Any tool dropped while repairing an automobile will roll under the car to the vehicle's exact geographic center.
Johnson's First Law of Auto Repair
Autos
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Things
Tools
You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape: if it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40; if it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
Steve Smith
(1945 – ) Canadian comedian & actor
Things
TV/Movie Quotes
As Red Green in “The Red Green Show”
Tools
The one wrench or drill bit you need will be the one missing from the tool chest.
First Workshop Principle
Murphy’s Laws
Tools
1. Other people’s tools work only in other people’s yards. 2. Fancy gizmos don’t work. 3. If nobody uses it, there’s a reason. 4. You get the most of what you need the least.
Laws of Gardening
Murphy’s Laws
Gardening
Tools
The probability of arriving at the job site without a needed tool or with the wrong hardware are directly proportional with the square of the travel distance.
Corollary: You will always have what you need when the job is next to your shop.
Repairman's Laws
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Work
Distance
Tools
When working on a project, if you put away a tool that you're certain you're finished with, you will need it instantly.
Law of Annoyance
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Time
Tools
You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape; if it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40, if it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.
Anonymous
Things
Duct tape
Tools
WE-40
When the need arises, the tool or object closest to you becomes a hammer.
Bromberg's First Law of Auto Repair
Murphy’s Laws
Hammers
Repair
Tools
Any tool dropped while repairing an automobile will roll beneath the vehicle to its exact centre.
Murphy's Law of Auto Repair
Autos
Murphy’s Laws
Tools