Keyword: Traffic

How to locate the slow-moving traffic lane or check-out land: Get in it.

If everything seems to be coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane.

You could go out at four in the morning, after a nuclear bomb destroys the entire eastern seaboard, and the Triborough Bridge would be jammed.

(1960 – ) American comedian

Traffic congestion increases in proportion to the length of time the street is supervised by a traffic control officer.

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.

1867 – 1931) English novelist

The smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.

(1925 – 2005) television host

After large expenditures of federal, state, and county funds; after much confusion generated by detours and road blocks; after greatly annoying the surrounding population with noise, dust, and fumes – the previously existing traffic jam is relocated by one-half mile.

In the city, a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician

I was sitting in traffic the other day… and I got run over.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

Remember folks, stop lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.

(1948 – 1990) comedian

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.

(1931 – ) television newscaster

There is no traffic until you need to make a left turn.

This isn’t life in the fast lane, it’s life in the oncoming traffic.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Traffic increases to fill the road space available.

Traffic Dead Rise Slowly

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist