Keyword: Underwear

The older you get, the higher your underwear – get like rings on a tree; you're 80-90 years old – your breasts are inside them.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer

After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash [mine] for a month.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

I got some new underwear the other day… well, new to me.

(1956 – ) American comedian

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally.


This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit-of-The-Loom guys laughing at me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

You might be a redneck if… your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

Underwear: An article of clothing which, when kept clean, ensures the wearer will never have an accident.