Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
Valentine’s Day
Valentine's Day
is being marketed as a Date Movie. I think it's more of a First-Date Movie. If your date likes it, do not date that person again. And if you like it, there may not be a second date.
Roger Ebert
(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism
Valentine's Day
I gave my girlfriend something she didn’t expect for Valentine’s Day… chlamydia.
Frankie Boyle
(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Health
Chlamydia
Valentine's Day
I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up… and for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.
Tracy Smith
American comedian
Entertainment
Television
Valentine's Day
To my darling wife – roses are red, violets are blue, Valentines Day is consumerist rubbish, don’t you have some ironing to do?
Jack Whitehall
(1988 – ) English comedian, television presenter & actor
Marriage
Wives
Valentine's Day
Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love… unless you’re single & lonely then it’s called Laundry Day.
Dane Cook
(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions
Love
Valentine's Day