Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
Weight
She is going to join the gym to lose some
weights.
Anonymous
Activities
Exercise
Misspokements
Weight
The distance you have to park from your apartment increases in proportion to the weight of packages you are carrying.
Jaroslovsky's Law
Autos
Murphy’s Laws
Parking
Weight
We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.
Vlade Divac
professional basketball player
Age
Body
Intelligence
Misspokements
Sports
Weight
I wouldn’t change anything but I could do with sharing my bottom and thighs with at least two other people.
Christine Hamilton
(1949 – ) British media personality & author
Appearance
Body
Weight
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
Terry Pratchett
(1948 – ) English novelist
Science/Weather
Things
Operating Manual
Wary
Weight
Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Wordplay
Diets
Weight
1. All bicycles weigh 50 pounds.2. 30-pound bicycle needs a 20-pound lock and chain.3. A 40-pound bicycle needs a 10-pound lock and chain.4. A 50-pound bicycle needs no lock or chain.
Bicycle Laws
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Bicycles
Weight
The heaviest object in the world is the body of the woman you have ceased to love.
Luc de Clapiers
(1715 – 1747) French writer & moralist
Emotions
Love
People
Women
Weight
People ask me how much I weigh. I tell them, 145 pounds, naked; that is, if that scale outside the drugstore is anything to go by.
Emo Phillips
(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance
Self
Weight
I’ve lost seven pounds this week… or, as my girlfriend calls it, ‘the baby’.
Maff Brown
British comedian & emcee
Appearance
Body
Weight